February For Finishing Power

The past three months have zipped by like a high speed train on cocaine. Various literary events, poetry, book launches, more poetry, then travel, holiday festivities, shopping, family drama, festivities and more shopping, then the flu which lingered for most of January. There, in a mountain of Kleenex, went my reflect, review, re-set ambitions for the start of the year.

And then I reminded myself that January is not really the start of the year. It’s one of those socio-political constructions that humanity has applied to bring some order to the world, notably the male-dominated world of commerce (I can almost hear pen-nibs scratching paper furiously to remonstrate at that statement, so I will gleefully continue).

Spring starts in February, a few weeks after the midwinter solstice. Time cannot be measured by counting hours and days and weeks, but by the rhythm of the earth, by the changes in nature. February is notoriously dark and dismal in the northern hemisphere as the nascent spring battles against the last struggles of winter. The start of spring in Gibraltar has been marked by huge storms, devastating floods in familiar towns in nearby Spain, gale force winds hurling the sea against the Rock and reminding those of us living near the shore how vulnerable we are, even though we are encased in concrete and steel buildings. Yet in the quiet moments we are beginning to hear the birds singing, and when the sun peeps out briefly from behind the wall of grey and purple clouds, we can feel its warmth. The days are noticeably longer. We can, when we are ready, emerge from hibernation and start the new year.

This is exactly how February feels to me this year. Laid low by a bout of illness in January which has left me pretty depleted in energy, it occurred to me that January and New Year’s Day is absolutely the worst time ever for setting resolutions and aiming at new goals. No wonder most resolutions are abandoned by the end of the month! There’s still gorgeous food and, hopefully, drink left over from New Year’s and who wants to try to go on a calorie-restricted diet when there’s cupboards full of chocolate, shortbread and, in my household, polvorones? Not to mention get back into an exercise routine. This flurry of activity is for February, when we are naturally emerging from the winter season and beginning to seek out daylight, to grow in new ways, to test out a returning strength. A cursory glance around the internet has shown me I am not at all alone in these thoughts.

Capturing an idea is like catching a butterfly: sometimes you just have to stand still and let it settle in the palm of your hand.

So this year, rather than fret that I hadn’t been able to battle my way through the brain fog of flu and think about setting out my life plans or even my writing plans for the year, I have let these plans emerge when they are good and ready. Given that there seem to be occasional breaks in the clouds today, and I can feel some energy beginning to trickle through my veins, this is the natural point at which to reset, to take what I had reflected on during last month’s hibernation and sow some seeds that will hopefully germinate as the spring warms up. There is a novel brewing, still only in the form of some scribbled notes here and there, but they will be put into some sort of order and by summer I’ll decide whether it has legs and whether I want to run with it. There is a bundle of old poems and part-poems and some new verses shoved into a drawer that I will dust off to see if there is sufficient material to develop. There are a few more ideas, no more that ethereal things lurking somewhere in the back of my mind that I need to catch, like butterflies in a net.

February is the ideal time to draw up plans for the seasons ahead. We’ve had time to rest after the hectic weeks of the holiday season. We’ve given ourselves permission to pause and think and have properly looked at what we want to change in our lives. More importantly, we’ve developed a sense of the rhythm and pace of the year and of how our focus and energy are working, and to what we want to direct that focus and energy. Habits started in February are much more likely to become permanent habits, so it’s a good time eat less cake and get out in the fresh air more, and take notebook and pens for those moments of inspiration, or to develop your story ideas.

The year is not about numbers, it’s about nature, the seasons and how you feel in yourself. Starting in February is more likely to give us finishing power. So, having said that, I’m off to sketch out a plan for a new project I’ve been cooking up in January…

Snowdrops bursting through winter-hard soil, which is more or less what I need to do…